be my lucky charm;

blog

Saturday, November 07, 2009

A's is in two days. haha. studied for two years, six years, twelve years just for these four weeks.

but it seems like im just gonna let them pass like the wind..

what have i been freaking doing? :(

the toughest part will be the first week. when it's over, my A's are practically over too.

no being bothered by other people. when this week passes, i must know i have done my best. i do not care how others do. and i wont let others sway my thoughts.

i hope i am ready.

fading*away ;
11:30 PM

Monday, October 26, 2009

tonight, i WILL bid goodbye to my computer. i MUST. no more 'i'll only go online to read FML and play a short game of solitaire'. no more facebook no more youtube no more kang xi lai le no more bloghopping! NO MORE!!!!

felt better after the chat on the phone last night... like having said everything that was bothering me. i think i just need to talk. whenever i meet troubles, all i need is to talk and i'll instantly feel better.

today was even better, due to the surprise visit. my deaf ears couldn hear him calling out my name (like once in a lifetime) to get my attention before my mum and dad called me to open the door for him. thanks for the hersheys, the milk and the m&ms, and most importantly, your time. i swear if i didnt see you today, i would go berserk and burst from uncontrollable internal restrain. i'm sorry i've been nothing but trouble and worries, but i hope you do know the reasons behind..

and even though you wont see this in time and i wouldnt even know if you've seen it, please take care of yourself and drink lotsa water! i cant afford to not see you, and i cant afford to fall sick so you had better get well soon :)

i really hope i wont come on again. i need to practise discipline. come on fighting spirit! come back to me! or i'm gonna bribe other people's fighting spirits to come and fight for me!

all the best for A levels everyone. in 6 week's time, we'll be flying.

fading*away ;
12:12 AM

Saturday, October 24, 2009

我不奢望
我也不指望

但如果你給了我希望
能不能不讓我失望?

fading*away ;
1:32 AM

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Prelim results are back, aye. I can't explain my gratitude towards mr pek for what he has done, but it wouldnt be good to announce here so.... i just have to say i am very touched! :'( ayee im just glad that for now i passed everything.

a lil overdue, that was surprising peiyi at victoria hall! scary thing cos while waiting for peiyi in the canteen at around 10pm, mr tan (yew hwee) came over! you can imagine the rest :/

it was farewell assembly yesterday, felt a little overwhelmed during certain parts of the programme, especially at the teachers' video. the programme last year was better, but this year is special too i guess. it's probably the last day the class would get together before the big a's. my impression of s34 is retained at the pae period where we all goofed around during the breaks, the happy and carefree j1s. i find it hard to accept that 2 years have passed so fast; it was practically yesterday when i first stepped into the hall in my pinafore, with many other colourful uniforms surrounding me. and now, we were the graduating batch sitting at the front of the hall looking at videos seeing what we've been through. it's been so much, but it has been so fast. mr chan's speech 'nobody, nobody but you (butt choo)' was surprisingly good and meaningful. i havent and will never regret coming to vjc, for the people i've met, for the things that happened, for the identity. i'll always walk proud out of school in my uniform or even the slightly hideous pe shirt, and all the sch related shirts that shout vjc.

s34 went to the airport to hang out, it was great just being in everyone's presence. no special words were exchanged even though we knew it was possibly the last time we could gather so happily while not thinking about studies (even though its at the back of our mind). played games not unlike an og outing, and left separately after that... :(

went for open house! less people attended this year, but more hype! stayed throughout and had lotsa fun (: went for both mass dance sessions and omg, due to lack of exercise these two sessions nearly killed me. but anyway good job 26ths, super nova rocked :)

Photo with the bubble machine! failed shot, better shots with zj (:

with the school cat that was featured in mr chan's speech! :D

Haha okay this is a little incongrous to the whole post but i just wanna put it up! the more you say you ugly the more i want to put up your photos. lol we ugly together okay?

i wish i could swap my eyes for yours :(

fading*away ;
12:39 PM

Saturday, September 19, 2009

haha happy 10.

i dont know what's up with my sudden openness about posting up pictures haha but i guess there's no reason not to anyway. dont know why the photo's so blur even though its resolution is not bad :/ but other than not being able to accept the fact that he has bigger eyes than me (hurr), i like the picture :)

thanks for being here, when times are so bad and when i feel as if there's no other people to tell what's going on. i hope i didnt shock you with my dismal life all these while with things i never got to tell you about cos i was too happy to be in ur company. but thanks for the support and concern, i dont know if anyone else in the world actually really cares about what's happening in my life now. im just glad i have you.

fading*away ;
10:30 PM

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

this is as dead as me, i swear. i can hardly bring myself to revive it, but reviving it seems like a better obtion than reviving myself :/

prelims preparations are shit. i wonder when i will ever peak. maybe i need the prelim results to come back and shock me into the mood. argh!

but otherwise, life has been pretty great. am so tempted to post up pictures taken from the recent months, they make things bearable at least. but blogger seems to be in a weird mood, or maybe my computer :/

there're a couple of people im missing right now, a couple from sn, some from vj, and of course the last one that i'll miss even when i probably see him more often than anyone else -_- there you go i said it. now you cant say you got nothing to read on my blog hurr.

xuezhen/liyi/charmaine/peiyi! whoever who sees this date me! i miss yall :(

fading*away ;
1:42 PM

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

my mono and duo's in less than 24 hours' time, but i am feeling weirdly calm even though the thoughts of my inadequacy are swarming around in my head. so are the tangled-up neurons in the brain. i need to get rid of the pounding by tomorrow morning, so i can keep a sane and peaceful head.

i must say as much as i miss last year, the exams this year make me realise how important the 0809 batch is to me. it is us that pulled through last year together, crewing and slotting upside down for at least 7 seniors each, coordinating and organising public p, shutting up for seniors around the sch/spaces, worrying for their pieces, everything. yet this year, it is still us, the same batch, fending for ourselves for everything mentioned above. i might complain, but i do not regret. it is after all the last batch of tsd students that have experienced the spirit and camaraderie. i do pity the juniors that they do not have the luxury to enjoy anything we did. but looking at them now, it is only their own loss since they do not attempt to contribute anyway (the bulk of them).

ohwells i guess it isnt the best time to lament all these. i love you tsd 08 batch! we will shine and emerge happy and fulfilled champions (: anticipate friday, lovelies.

fading*away ;
11:25 PM

Sunday, June 14, 2009

all i know is i'm going crazy.

Lost WIthout You - Delta Goodrem

I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cos I believe that we can work things out

I thought I had all the answers never giving in
But baby since you’ve gone I admit that I was wrong

All I know is I’m lost without you I’m not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we’ll never be together and we ended with goodbye
Don’t know what I’d do
I’m lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I’m lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I’m lost without you

How my ever gonna get rid of these blues
Baby I’m so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
You’re the only thing that’s on my mind

Oh my bed's so cold at night and I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right no I’m not too proud to say

If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away
Can’t stop the tears from running down my face

fading*away ;
8:48 PM

失眠

想起我不完美你会不会
逃离我生命的范围
想著你的滋味我会不会
把这个枕头变得甜美

*想起白天的約会
忘了晚上的咖啡
只怕感情如潮水
远离我梦中的堡垒

*一个人失眠全世界失眠
无辜的街灯守候明天
幸福的失眠只是因为害怕闭上眼
如何想你想到六点
如何爱你爱到终点

想起我的时候你会不会
好像我一样不能睡
想像你的曖昧我会不会
数不到绵羊一双一对

i will not seek.

fading*away ;
2:23 AM

Thursday, June 11, 2009

i have a stubborn ulcer that healed but is now growing back even before the ulcer scar disappeared. but finally the nosebleed season is dying down, am not getting anymore in the mornings or at night. so shifu! lol even though you wont be seeing this, you dont have to give me ur power herbal medicine etc anymore!

i remember last yr his power herbal pill healed my crater ulcer(record setting, according to people who saw it)! but it failed to cure ryan's, probably because he purposely, crazily, stubbornly rubbed salt into the wound(literally) while we were doing pw at yixiang's house last yr, even though i kept telling him it wouldnt work.

i am lazy bum. i hope i will stick to my schedule. but my math is seriously dead. ahhhh! shen ah, jiu jiu wo ba! i need a power brain!

been having lotsa moodswings lately. which is irritating, because i cant control them and i am bloody affected. need to stop the thousand thoughts swimming in my head, and all the irrelevant and useless feelings associated with them. i need a holiday.

oh, the irony. it is the bloody holidays.
you know what? i am so hopelessly into you i want to kill myself. the thing is, im not joking about feeling pathetic.

fading*away ;
12:33 AM

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

it's the holidays.

the string of concerts is over, and there goes all my commitments (and excuses to put off work). musicfest, perfect fifth, resonance. they make my jc2 term 2 so full of colours. even though it meant sacrificing going down for every single match support to redshirt, i guess it was worth it in the end. thanks to all who came to support me, especially the tsd people (: and also random people that i didnt expect to be at the concerts and contributed cheers for me. thanks!

good job to other finalists for musicfest, guitar people and harmoc people as well! yall rock!

with the sudden burst of freedom, i am kinda lost. i know i ought to give some attention to those books and notes i neglected for months. but even when reality's already kicked in, my body still refuses to listen to my brain. maybe my brain aint strong enough. hahah.

also started to ponder on alot of stuff. academia, friendships, relationships, philosophy in general... all these thinking make me feel as if i haven't used my brain in a long time. been too caught up in the whirlwind of school. but ohwells. i dont have much time left to linger around useless things anymore. life is sad.

am listening to tank's new album online. omg! i heart tank!!! <3<3 should i get the album? :( dang, why is my bday not coming. hahahah.

meanwhile, nao's house tmr night to stayover. hurrah, we can spend the night bitching about junfeng who refuses to come cos he wanted to study. winner.

fading*away ;
9:53 PM

Saturday, May 16, 2009

This is what doing a CC can cause you. be so bored you go draw pictures to determine ur personality.

http://drawapig.desktopcreatures.com/gallery/large.asp?id=1957375&p=0&hof=1&q=personality+test

http://drawahouse.com/
Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes.

When it comes to love, you shut yourself off. It's difficult to win your heart because you have decided to keep your feelings deep inside. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

fading*away ;
6:38 PM

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Musicfest 2009: I'm Lovin' it

The journey was a crazy one. It was a spur of the moment decision when I received Lynn's call one day while I was sick at home asking if we wanted to join the competition together. To think I was so sure that I didn't want to join everytime my council friends asked me to, I actually said yes. But ah, honestly at that point of time, I really never thought about the impending stress and trouble I had to experience. I didn't think of the final result as well. But now looking back at that day, I knew I would have regretted it if I said no :)

Auditions went better than we expected, we sang With You by Chris Brown and really enjoyed ourselves. Zomg, I was pretty nervous while enjoying the atmosphere as well; my hands were trembling and my smile was phoney but that 2 minutes onstage were priceless. Thanks to the audience that boosted our confidence(and Leon who started the clapping thing)! :D

Semifinals was crap, in all areas of the competition. The song was super not up to standard due to my lost voice, we couldn't practise till the day before and I sang almost the whole song in falsetto and didn't enjoy myself. Felt so sorry to have pulled Lynn down and was super guilty when we first got to find out that we didn't qualify for the finals. Then came the controversy of how the teachers decided to put a band into the vocal group category, and after a big hooha they were changed to the most unique performance while we were put back into the competition. But we couldn't feel the ecstacy due to the aftermath of all the righteous anger.

While preparing for the finals, we received the biggest blow yet. Knowing we were super last minute for the previous two times, we started out real early this time but two days before the finals the teachers pressurized us to change our song. It was a horrible and unlucky day; we hastily went to Teo Heng to try out songs. But even after we decided and felt happy to be singing what we really love, there was still this niggling thought at the back of our mind, worrying about how the angmoh Victorians would take our performance. Mr Lim's constant reminder about how half the Victorian population is secretly cheena didn't really help much. The rehearsals on the day itself further crushed our confidence; there were so many technical errors and even by the last full run, we didn't have our lights and sounds during the performance.

What stressed us out most was probably the idea of disappointing the friends that supported us.

But on the final day itself (yesterday), I guess it turned out well. Forget about the mic screw-ups, our friends made it all right (: We hope we didn't disappoint all of you! And we are so darn proud of your screams. Love :)

Second really doesn't seem bad at all. In fact, it is darn good! :D

Secret motivation: Jerald talked to the Guest of Honour from MOE and he said he thought we would win the category! Mr Lin Kuan Tai too told me he thought we were the best, zomg! And thanks to the many friends who believed we were great too :)

There are many people I would like to thank:

Councillors (25ths and 26ths)
I am so apologetic that I couldn't be of help to the event due to being a participant. It was such a waste; it's the last event for the 25ths and I can't be there as a councillor. But you all were still here for me as friends. Thanks to every single one of you who gave Futari your support. You all really pulled me out of depress zone and motivated me to continue, especially from Wednesday till Friday. Special thanks to Wanswen, Zhengjun, Szeying, Victoria, Thomas, Andy, for feeling righteous on our behalf and assuring our performance having watched it and knew what the teachers said. Also wanna thank Geraldine, Lennart, Collin, Kenrick, Katharine, Jerald, for putting up with my depressed face on Thursday, motivating me and all. I really appreciated it <3 And of course, great job to all who helped out for duties for the event!

Thanks to the people who were there when I needed you, you know who you are :)

There are many new people I met in the competition, and you all made this experience worthwhile: Hannah, Jed, Lionel, Yelun, and the two other vocal groups Dear Mimosa and 3mic! Musicfest is nothing without all of you!

Of course, thanks Edward(though you'll never see it) for being so imba-ly talented, being able to play the song on piano/guitar just by listening to the song twice. You are our hero! Am so sorry we couldn't acknowledge you yesterday. But you do feel our love, yeah? :D

Also, to all that wished us good luck and gave us your support, you are loved!

Lastly and most importantly, LYNN! You are the best, seriously. Without you, I am nothing. Thanks so much for these two months (is it? It feels really long). Short as they were, I'll never forget them. Remember how we joined CSS two years ago? I'd never imagine I'll be joining a singing competition in the future with you! It's my very very big honour, seriously. Your voice is _____ -speechless- you know what I mean, yeah? It's over now, I guess all the trouble was worthwhile. And look! You didn't disappoint any of your friends! So next time anything happens, don't be disheartened. You know all your friends will be more heartbroken to see you down. Smile! I'm done camwhoring with the trophy. Will give it to you next week or something. You totally deserve it :) LOVE!!!

The following photos are from my lousy camcorder. Only these few :/ Am waiting for the rest I took on Facebook!

Thanks Wanswen. Really :)

Closure.

fading*away ;
11:58 PM

Saturday, April 25, 2009

thirteenth day and i'm still alive. with a very low level of energy, though.

things have been bad. i have let motivation slip away yet again, i think it has followed a certain someone to another island as well :( grah.

many things happened in the short period of two weeks, stuff regarding musicfest, IS prelims, and tomorrow's performance at esplanade. ah. mentally draining. it doesnt help to have people around you shooting down your confidence intentionally as well.

i dont know what to say. but the horriblest week is at least over. i cant wait for thurs and fri. at least, i think i'll be the happiest i can ever be for the past three weeks.

fading*away ;
12:34 AM

Sunday, March 29, 2009

have been lazy to blog so havent been publishing anything even though i've tried coming to type some stuff but always gave up half way. but since this time someone special whined about it i shall blog for blogging's sake!

but actually there were quite a number of interesting things to talk about in my life just that they arent all that interesting to be talked about alone :/

ahhhh first there's the common tests! zomg for the first time in more than a year i actually feel slightly relieved about my grades. i passed everything and improved in all subjects except math(bahhhh expected karma, i was too lucky last year)! zomg even mr pek made the point to mention that i improved im so happyyyy! ((: but we havent gotten gp back yet so i shant be happy too soon.

but for friends that did not do well enough or didnt reach ur expectations, im sure yall can make it in the long run!

ohwells. having slacked the whole day, i need to do some work to reduce the feeling of guilt :/ a well as to not drop back into the pit and fail any subjects again!

wanted to blog about my venture to geylang near 11pm at night but hmmmm it's gonna sound kinda weird, i'd rather give a verbal account of the experience. felt rather scared at times but since i have 3 men as protection (where 2 are adults) i guess i was pretty safe. felt kinda dubious about all the men that we walked past, and even more dubious about the scantily dressed women that flooded (i mean it, flooded) the back alleys, away from the main roads. but overall the trip made me think about many things, i guess it's beneficial. even though i dont encourage this but it would be good to go stroll down the little roads of geylang to see what it is really like. just dont make any eyecontact and dont stop walking unnecessarily... haha.

ohwells. i hope it wont be long before i come back to update again. hahah (:

fading*away ;
10:30 PM

Friday, March 20, 2009

noms camp is over, but we dont feel much settled. jerald, diana, disco, bunk ics and especially the facils have done our best in passing on what they ought to know, and the rest is up to them. much as i want to talk about details of the camp, whether with the noms or behind the scenes, it wouldnt be good to be read by other ccas or the noms themselves, haha so i guess we shall all keep it as a good memory.

i have faith in the 26ths.

ytd was an awesome day wahahhaha.

alrighty. i dont know what to say so :/ jc life sucks. there are so many things happening that i cant even bring myself to take time to blog about it! ohwells. blame myself if i cant rmb anything ten years down the road :/

fading*away ;
1:32 PM

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

-breathes-

time passes so fast. i had the impression that yesterday was sunday, and i was preparing for gp. and now i'm left with the last day!

i haven't been taking CT1 like a major exam so studying's been more of relaxed rather than tense like before promos. i wonder if i'm weird, but im actually starting to like studying. (but only at this pace)

won't be expecting much for results. especially for math(!!) and maybe one between chem or tsd (since i have to prioritise one over the other boohoo). bio hehhhh.... i have never passed bio exams (excluding tests) ever since i came to vj! to think that was my strongest science in secondary school ):

aye hope for the best. afterall, like everyone says, it's only ct1...

[looks at time, yelps and returns to work]

fading*away ;
10:50 PM

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Victorian Vaults: the Test of Time

it's been three weeks since orientation ended. it seemed like two months ago or something. everytime i think about it, i feel this strange emptiness within. it was almost like withdrawal symptoms from drugs. a few months of preparation was gone in a flash; the adhoc was meeting on an almost daily basis for two months and suddenly, we didnt have to meet up anymore.

the process of planning was a really enjoyable one. i cant thank god enough for giving me this wonderful adhoc (maybe not totally, but it's the flaws that make us treasure the other good things). i'll never forget our bitching sessions over people like WMD (weapon of mass destruction) and many-more-i-dont-think-i-should-mention, random things like the bright yellow schoolbus, our ban mian and popeye's ventures, the guys' dirty jokes, our camwhore session(one only), and the video which featured victoria's leg.

the four main days of orientation flew past in a blur. we started out excited and psyched, seeing our freshmen and OGLs clad in the shirts we designed, watching them move around the school. problems surfaced but i guess we took things into our stride and moved on. day one ended late, the victorians went home tired but happy. as the days went by, the activites grew more packed and more problems arose. there was tension within the adhoc as members broke down due to stress or disagreements. i was very afraid our adhoc would fall in the most crucial period, after we'd come so far. but we didnt; what happened made us stronger and closer, and made us realise the importance of each and every person in the adhoc.

i cried. cried hard on thursday while the ending skits were going on. i couldnt take the fact that all these were going to end. it was a very beautiful dream that i could not bear to wake up from. planning for orientation and watching orientation being carried out must have been the happiest and most wonderful times in my term as a councillor. i want to put my feelings into words but i simply cannot describe. like jerald said a few times about how he would think about orientation adhoc while going home after an adhoc dinner or meeting, and feel very xing fu (yeah, coming true from jerald). i had the exact sentiments, and im sure the rest of the adhoc did too.

when mass dance at suntec ended, and we found a place to stone up in suntec city, we just sat around and let the message sink in. while we all sighed in relief that everything is over, at the back of my mind i was dwelling in the atmosphere of the adhoc's presence and playing back memories of the process. as reluctant as i was for orientation to end, i guess i had to let go.

hearing people chat about orientation, feeling sad that it's over, and those random cheering and mentioning of orientation-related stuff around school are the best birthday presents i've gotten this year.

i really want to thank the adhoc for being the best team of people in the world, i really appreciate all of you for all that you have done (or didnt do[not meant to be sarcastic]) and making orientation so wonderful. i'll never forget all of you:

jerald (the best and nicest and secretly dirtyminded ic)

kenrick (the seemingly evil but actually very nice and 'terrible in admin' banmian lover)

lennart (the venomous and bitchy bi with a fatal stern face)

victoria (the easily amused cluedo hero with contagious laughter)

stacy (the zai treasurer with the best and most creative sarcastic comments)

kevin (the happy and innocent little boy who's starting to take after lennart)

menglu (the extremely underweight [to my envy] one who always gives a smile)

nadia (the talented artist who says 'chute' and is super encouraging)

subra (the one who stays optimistic and enthusiastic no matter what happens)

and thanks to all councillors and everyone else who helped make orientation such a success.

i love and miss orientation2009!

we really look like one happy family.

fading*away ;
9:00 PM

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

THIS IS A POST DEDICATED SPECIALLY FOR GERALDINE QUEK!

oh man i'm so sorry cos i recorded on a separate sheet the people who wished me, and there was a 'before 12' and 'after 12' list! then cos most of the ppl who wished before 12 wished after as well so i didnt put that in my blog T_T so indeed i missed you out! im so so sorry!

but other than the big sorry i have to say a bigger thankyou, for wishing me so many times the day before, announcing my bday to almost everyone you see with me, for planning the dinner and worrying so much about it, for making me the super nice card and putting up with my sian face while trying to be high all the same! i feel so apologetic but deep down i know all the efforts you put in for trying to make me happy for my bday. thanks so much and sorry! :( i love youuu!!

fading*away ;
12:43 PM

Monday, February 09, 2009

saturday was a really great day spent with maine and peiyi (boooo liyi couldnt come) after waking up at 2pm :D the two embarrassed me by forcing me to take photo with the green towel they designed in the middle of orchard mrt station. zomg! had haagen daz and suki sushi and man indulgence is bad! camwhored alot but i no facebook so cannot kope :(

sunday is (:

thanks to all for wishing me, (in chronological order) weien junfeng collin kelvin laypeng wanswen yvette jerald arianto sam sandy tenghui may lennart kenrick diana mingee jonathan yixiang harkhui victoria szeying fongsun peiyi elizabeth yeowboon naomi benjamin wensiu cherylmoh kevin amanda nadia zhengjun jiayun katharine kiahong junyuan eva rouhui vanessa anges liyi alicea cheryl xuemin zhanyi ryan weiling (1111) charmaine yanbing leonard xuezhen, classmates and other councillors as well as tsd people that sang song and ate cake with me :)

hope i didnt miss out anyone!!

and of course those who gave me stuff i love love all of them ((:

im eighteen now, im so old T_T but i shall embrace the new freedom that i'm legal for, and hopefully i will nv da shi ba bian eventually!

thanks to all that contributed to a smile on my face on 08022009 :)
especially you.

fading*away ;
10:58 PM

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Orientation is over. I have not totally accepted the fact yet. i guess i'll come back another day when the message has totally sunk in, to reflect and thank all that has made this event possible.

PED. Post event depression. or rather POD for post orientation depression.

i dont even feel that im turning eighteen. all that is in my mind now are images of orientation. but i guess i should treasure the last two hours of being seventeen. i'm so old :(

fading*away ;
9:55 PM

Friday, January 23, 2009

mass dance during an event was the best so far today! there were even more people dancing today than during open house. zomg. must be because of the orientation spirit :D (though i am not pleased i'm gonna turn a shade darker again)

orientation meeting with miss lim was fruitful, motivational.

"are we gonna do our best?"
"YES!"
"is anyone going to complain that orientation was lousy?"
"NOOOOO!!!"
"is this going to be the best orientation?"
"YESSS!"
1, 2, 3-
"ORIENTATION ADHOC 2009!!!!"
-goes crazy screaming in the garden beside the concourse-

jerald was saying that the group hug was a very 'Amen' moment. ah, that made me kinda miss sn :(

had swensens, then back to sch for meeting till 9++. and tmr meeting continues at 9! ah, orientation mood omood omood!

i'm going crazy. O:

duo's are over. ultra zomg!! good luck to the rest of the duos yeah!!! jiayou!

fading*away ;
11:38 PM

Monday, January 19, 2009

i have noticed the jump at my hugs counter.
and i have read the posts in my gbk.

thanks for actually remembering my lunar bday, that was so sweet of you. dont see i act very nonchalant, i was very surprised and sincerely touched! ((: xiexieni, imy and ily many many too! -hugs-

thanks for all the encouragement i've received from the people around me, especially from council, whether it's the congratulations for passing chem R, or jiayou-ing for orientation, or all the bests for tsd prelims, i appreciate all of them and i am motivated to do well!

and thanks wanswen for listening to me rant when i was feeling a little lousy. i feel so much better now (: you can count on me for a listening ear too :) love!

fading*away ;
11:16 PM

Sunday, January 11, 2009

in 12 hours i'll be walking into school. i cant describe the feeling, it's not ecstacy but it's not fear too. it's a kind of nonchalance which i hope is not because i'm losing the passion for school. maybe it's just that i've already frequented sch for the past months. taking the r papers in sch uniform plays a part too.

here's good luck to all the sec4-and-j1-to-be people! all the best for ur O level results! i hope to see many many of you in vj :D (and enjoy our wonderful orientation2009)

teehee, i actually have no idea why im here when im supposed to go crazy over my cc. i think i just needed a random outlet to release steam before i start. maybe elsewhere.

i wish i could stop all these negative things running through my head, but i just can't control them. i dont know why this seemed to disturb me much more than i used to, when it's not supposed to be the case.

bless me.

fading*away ;
6:53 PM

Saturday, January 10, 2009

ah, beautiful saturday afternoon. after the revolting arghpapers are over, everything seems a thousand times more wonderful.

although im still sulking over not being able to go back to sn to visit huahui even though i resoluted to do so last week! i had 3 chances and i wasted all of them :( thanks so much man... (to the people whom ought to be guilty! hahahha) so that sets my record for being the unloving and ungrateful senior who's never visited huahui ever since i graduated -_-

as i was saying, the r papers are over. and omg. i have no comments. i always have no comments about my academic results. look at promos. i was saying if i were lucky i'll pass chem and if i were lucky i wont get U for bio. well in the end they compromised and i got S for both -_- and my bio was better than chem! jiak sai. my sec 4 results too reflect my inability to predict how well/badly i did for tests and exams.

sigh, i just hope i dont get into anymore trouble.

missed purity class chalet to celebrate someparticularone's birthday, and my reward was to see thatparticularone sulking from across the table during dinner! boohoo. to think i sacrificed so many crucial studying hours over it sniff... okay okay im joking lah. due to the lousy me it was kinda a lousy day :(

new year resolution #1:
I shall not be indecisive!

it's quite late to start thinking about new year resolutions huh. but it's okay! cos school hasnt reopened and i think that's when the year starts properly huh.... i'm sort of only left with two days of holiday, without peace; i need to start writing my critcom due monday -groans-

new year resolution #2:
I shall not be lazy and procrastinate (too much).

ohwell. i make this resolution every year and never achieve it.

not to forget i have my homework and all!!! mr young's so gonna kill me. and oh, i hope the new chem tutor.... hmm i shan't announce how i want him/her to be different from ms chia.. the people who knows will get my drift anyway!

new year resolution #3:
New blogskin. To be viewable by both firefox and internet explorer!

alright just 3 resolutions for now. when i find more shall update. i should start on number 3! (and conveniently ignore number 2)

fading*away ;
1:11 PM

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

BYE 2008, AND HELLO 2009!

when school reopens (actually even before school reopens) i'll start to chiong hard for j2 life. orientation, teeeee-asssss-deeeee and everything else! we're all goners man. it's time we truly test our perseverence and all.

2008 felt like the shortest year i'd ever spent (the irony is that it's the leap year). everything passed by so fast it was hard trying to stop down and take in what we have before everything is over. i actually went to read my archives for this year and i kinda wish i could live the moments all over again.

council
no doubt the group of people that i can relate most to is councillors. we've been through so many things, O2, elects' camp, match support (ohman), national day, open house, intracouncil day, and of course, SDD. it doesnt seem alot on paper but looking back at these things, it feels as if we've come so far. we've literally been through thick and thin, laughing and crying together. knowing that you people are here i have no worries about having no one to approach when i need someone to rant or just fall back on. we've only got four more months to go now. i'll make sure i appreciate each second i spend with all of you before time flies by leaving me to capture moments i dont remember. i love all of you like no other!

tsd
the second group of people i hang out with the most in the year! i guess spending that large amount of time in their company was inevitable, but i wont stop hanging out with them even when i have the choice! i love how we went crazy during slots, during meals, during breaks, during A's, and how we never get bored of each other's company. i cant explain why i feel drawn towards tsd whenever i feel down, i guess it's due to the compassionate people; there's this warmth in 24 that makes me want to spend all my breaks inside there. i could always feel better either being cheered up by lively people, or after confiding in them. whenever i start to hate the subject for its many flaws, i look at the relationships i have with all of you and believe taking it up is worthwhile. thanks for making me see that everytime i get upset over marks and stuff. it's a blessing to know you all. "it's the time to disco!"

08s34
im apologetic regarding how detached i am from the class during term time! but outings with yall have always been great! haha i love how we sit all the way at the back of lt1 during math, sleeping during mr young's lessons, all the bday celebrations, our s34 cheer, those random gatherings at benjamin's house, junfeng's house, chalet, kbox, lunches, PW!!! we have lost our enthusiasm after PAE as a class but i guess it's all just deep within us. i do not regret being put in s34! next yr i shall not be led astray by junfeng, i shall attend all lectures with yall okay! :D

just wanna specially thank certain people for making my year fabulous. you people are certainly the ones i wont ever regret knowing: geraldine (your name is first! still dare say i dont love you) wanswen collin zhengjun lennart meiqin sandy eva sweejin jonathan yeowboon junfeng naomi tenghui gregory tingkai! you are the people whom i have poured my heart/soul to in one way or another. and of course old friends xuezhen esti amanda peiyi liyi charmaine leonard! keep in touch okay!

hmm just a shoutout to ppl who dont fall into the 3 categories above!
gregory: i have no idea how i actually managed to know you and talk so much crap (nah you know im joking) when we have absolutely no link with each other. but just like you said, im glad i found a friend in you too, even though i cant stand how you flirt with girls so shamelessly! thanks for trusting me with your stuff and well as being there when i needed you. i think you're like among the top 5 ppl who know most of my secrets during those times when we still talked quite often! be honoured okay... haha. here's hoping you will be happier in 2009, you're always happy when i see you in school, but i think there's more to it? alright i dedicate so long to you you'd better appreciate it!

tingkai: wonder if you'll ever see this! but anyway, thanks for being concerned about my matters, and being there to teach me ren sheng dao li. you and tenghui all sama sama de! i learnt alot of lifeskills from both of you can! but anyway, i will always be here when you need to talk, i will keep my promise too. all the best in everything you do, keep ur chin up and im sure everything will go well for you!

xuezhen: aiyo smelly girl. madman has nothing much to tell you. meet up more often okay!! i know it's my fault we so long then meet up (tardy replies and busy times etc). will make up for it! let's study together for A's, we shall have kentucky sessions -winks-

esti amanda: the people that help cure my nolstalgia for sn! im so glad for your presence in tsd. i cant put what i want to say in words here, and yall wont read this anyway so i shall just leave it like that and tell yall in ur face! ;D

peiyi liyi charmaine: zui hao de peng you men! ahaha. we must meet up more often laaaa! i dont see enough of you all! but im glad how things among us never changes: how maine and i would always fight over money because we always attempt to pay more than the other, while liyi and peiyi would attempt to snatch the money for themselves instead; how maine always causes us not being able to continue the conversation cos she's too lame; how liyi always attempt to sleep on my shoulder and i dont allow; how peiyi hasnt treated us to swensens for being top scorer among us (9a1s) and always try to change the topic when we bring it up etc. i love the three of you like nuts (actually i dont like nuts) so please lets have a meet up real soon! 2009 must spam gatherings okay!

leonard: woohoo hello dearest online-friend-whom-i-refuse-to-meet-up-with-cos-we're-too-darn-special! it's the 5th year now! amazing yeah! hahahha alright i guess not meeting up is stupid. we shall just plan an outing someday! no ice skating horh hahah! and you know what you will get if you forget my bday this year or if you ever ask me when it is again!

ahh sigh. there are so many things i wanna tell many individuals but i will die typing them all out. so there goes! i really enjoyed my j1 life and i wont deny i have lived it to the fullest! other than the academic part of course... but really, thanks so much to everyone who contributed to my life this year, whoever you are, even if you are just someone who didnt know me but voted me into council, hahah! to the universe, i love you :D

i remember the post i wrote at wretch to welcome 2008 last year (2 years ago, to be exact :D). i dont think i fulfilled everything i set out to do, but i have no regrets, i guess. i just have to work doubly hard this year to make up for the things i've neglected. here's cheering myself on for the challenges awaiting in 2009! i will try my best in everything i do and for A's, achieve the miracle like i did during O's!

to everyone i care about, jiayou in all future endeavours! dont give up!

happy new year.

fading*away ;
11:29 PM

Thursday, December 18, 2008

it's 1:29, and i cant sleep.

im sorta surprised that people do still come even when this blog is dead for almost a month. wow. pardon me, it's the inborn sloth in me that prevents me from blogging, among other reasons such as crazy schedules and having to switch from my council gmail account to this one.

it's 1:39, and im yawning.

there are so many things to talk about, like sdd, council chalet, class chalet, orientation, etc etc etc that i cant really begin. besides, it would be outdated to talk about them now. i guess i could mention that OGL training was terrific! my body didnt fail me in the end, even though it kinda threatened me every now and then. here's wishing all the ogls all the best and keep up the spirit till orientation!

oh and there was FOH for snow white at the drama centre, pretty cool! did with geri and knew people like shaf, natalie, grace, xinyi, cher han etc etc... and not to forget isaac! hahahha! it was interesting... really good way of earning cip points while being partly involved in smth you enjoy. we earned free tickets to snow white as well! it's amazing :)

have been having late nights out for the past week plus, reaching home past 11 or 12. i wonder whether that's changed my body clock cos i've been going to bed later and later.

i seriously need to get on with my work. the dreaded Rpapers are getting nearer and im kinda horrified by my progress. where was the motivation i had when i studied for my O's? come back come back! maybe i should bring out my mahjong table again (yes if anyone remembers it was my studying venue) and draw another motivational picture so that i get A for bio and chem! okay that's not very possible but no harm aiming high! :)

it's 1:49, and it's an amazing coincidence im not joking.

i think im going to bed. tata to you! :)

fading*away ;
1:29 AM

Friday, November 28, 2008

A Thousand Days - Clay Aiken

Through my eyes
I have seen the world start spinning like a ball
Stars light up and then fall for you
So then what's a man like me supposed to do
If I gave you the moon would you notice
That I'm right beside you

Well now a thousand days and thousand nights are not enough
Cause I can't hold back the way I feel about my love
Won't let it go, won't let it go

And if the angels came, I'd fight them back to win your soul
And when everything was said and done
They'd go back home
And they oughta know, they oughta know
That you're mine all mine

In my world
You're the sun that shines and lights up the evening skies
Clearing up the horizon, hold on
Come with me and I will never let you down
Oh, and in this love we'll drown, this I promise you
Cause they can't hold us down

Well now a thousand days and thousand nights are not enough
Cause I can't hold back the way I feel about my love
Won't let it go, won't let it go

And if the angels came, I'd fight them back to win your soul
And when everything was said and done they'd go back home
And they oughta know, they oughta know
That you're mine all mine

I would do anything, just believe it
Your love means everything, and I need it
Your heart won't lie
Reach out for me

fading*away ;
2:43 PM

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

post 1000.

the day's special and memorable in a way i cant explain. just a simple movie, stoning and sleeping at coffeebean(irony) and travelling back and forth on the mrt line. we've gone around singapore today. and the long chat at the mosquito breeding ground, highly torturous for the highly demanded A blood type. but even the lousiest activities can be amazing, with the right company.

it's funny how i experienced all sorts of emotions throughout the day.

i had a great time today, i hope you did too. enjoy yourself the next few days, even if you may not see this in time.

something i learnt today: jupiter loves gay(homosexual)berries.

(- infinity , 3)

fading*away ;
11:48 PM

Sunday, November 16, 2008

yay, geri and i get a free ticket to snow white for doing FOH! coolios. freeshow (:

spent 70bucks today. grr! heartpain. my mum's gonna refund me 35bucks i hope she keeps to her promise!

flute finally wasnt so terrible. well of course! i practised practically the whole of ytd :D if i screwed up today i would slit my throat right on the spot! ayee tweety was my piano accompaniment last year. who should i ask next yr? :/ i really really hope i do well cos i think my parents wont support me after grade 5 (since my brother pulled out sponsoring me). must get a good grade and cont to learn in the future!

my nephews came to my house today, with my bro and dasao of course. omg they were damn cute! the elder one cried when being carried into the house cos he was afraid and didnt want to come in. but when leaving he cried again and threw a tantrum cos he didnt want to leave! awwww :( the smaller one was just crawling around and staring at everyone with his big eyes. awwww!!!! awwww. :)

went to the food fair at expo. didnt get to each much cos 1) the place was damn bloody crowded, no place to settle down to eat 2) not much good food actually and 3) lazy to queue! ah boring :( maybe it's cos of the company. rahh! saw a few victorians but dont know who they were. so happy to see VJ shirts :D

aye today's post seem very scattered. lazy to organize. end of crap!

fading*away ;
11:45 PM

Saturday, November 15, 2008

here comes another picture post! to upload past camwhore photos which i didnt put into the com until now cos my usb conked up.

saw this at spotlight! haha. alright. it isn't a very nice introductory picture :/

PW GROUP! haha. what a happy picture taken with our title :D

the thinker and the extra :D

i dont know how to explain this picture. only our pw group will understand! ;D

see yixiang shit ryan!!

Council lunch at parkway on thurs.

teehee mirror shots!

i swear all girls secretly love toilets!

stacy szeying hannah me geri all specsless

RECO IS LOVE.

HOW CAN I NOT TALK ABOUT THE ZOO?

otters! they are so so adorable! it looks as if they are observing humans instead of us looking at them.

count the kangaroos :D

smth i learnt today: how to differentiate cheetahs, leopards and jaguars!

the one above was a cheetah and this one is a leopard. didnt take a jaguar cos it was walking so fast :( i love cats!!

rouhui is like vanilla and im black coffee :(

made shifu take a normal photo after he took a gazillion candid and unglam shots of me!

star of the day: mr toh! he's the best seriously (:

HE ALWAYS DOES THIS TO ME!!! :(((

i realised he didnt make his eyes small on purpose :D

even benza learn from shifu. gahhh!

it rained right after we were dismissed so we didnt get to walk anywhere else. were one of the last ones to leave! note the umbrella colours hahah!

tenghui and i carried the same NTU umbrellas but i had blue and his was red. junfeng was saying we look like characters from 向左走向右走, damn hilarious! he was complaining that him and benjamin are like the calafares in the show -_-

big coincidence to umbrella incident: i have red elmo and he had blue cookie monster! this pic was taken before we realised the umbrella thing. master and tudi power!! haha.

we went to junfeng's house to play after that. we were watching jaychou's concert dvd while playing mahjong at the same time :D then we switched to monopoly!

i really really suck at monopoly :(

the two big winners of the day!

the unattentive player had more than a thousand dollars (i think!) stolen from him and he didnt even know!

we jammed afterwards with the weirdest combi of instruments: keyboard, guitar, violin, di zi and recorder! i cant play the dizi :( and shifu you are the one with music talent okay can play so many things hurr.

anyway bus-ed home and grah, met some problems but nevermind, i had a great day still (:

two more entries.

fading*away ;
10:22 PM

Thursday, November 13, 2008

the keyboard seems to be my source of solace these few days. everytime i reach danger zone i just fly to the keyboard and instantly feel better. even though the songs i play are the same ones over and over again. but ohwells. doing repeated things is actually a kind of therapy.

it's a pure coincidence that i have to go sch at 8 everyday of this week. omg.

bumped into newfriend this morning while we were going to school. it's her last paper! ahhaha hope it went well!! and you are officially free now (: long time no see/talk!! :( but was nice bumping into you today. i miss you nf :(

ogl briefing was interesting. ahaha. im quite excited about orientation now! VVTTOT! hope everyone actually understood what i was talking about hahaha i was kind of on a roll while doing the storytelling -_- geri was saying she expected me to do the feet stamping trademark, i says, NO! I HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF THAT HABIT ALRIGHT! hahaha. ivanhoe and thor are the highest so far, ahhh i cant wait (:

the movie that was screened during GM was disturbing. omg. but i am so touched by schindler. he's so noble... i cried but i guess everyone else did too lah heh. heard lots of sniffs! the massacre was gruesome and the nudity was redundant, but i guess they contributed to the overall impact. sigh. war sucks.

was checking out sn homecoming details and omg i almost puked!! they are holding a talk on cervical cancer prevention!!!! whats with all the cervical cancer things popping up suddenly?! zomg vomit blood please. i think if i go for the talk, i can go pick out the loopholes the speaker has. lol all thanks to pw. i think i'll be the most knowledgeable person in the audience if i go for the talk!

going to the zoo tomorrow with bio fac! :D ah, so cute, the image. going to the zoo as a school with ur classmates, at the age of seventeen! hurr shifu had better bring the sunblock. if he forgot like last time and end up being fairer than me, i swear i'll bbq him till he's blacker again.

i need to get a grip on myself.

fading*away ;
9:03 PM